it's been a hard time for me lately, but decisions have been made. Unfortunately there are a few more to make, but it will work out. I regret that I kept trying so hard for so long. Oh well.

I'm ready for some change. I don't know what to change yet, but I need something to change. Hopefully soon.

push it all out
leave it all behind
wish it were different
plead for more
beg

ignored
cast out
told god wouldn't make you
lost
trod upon

you wonder why belief is hard anymore?
Someone else cross to bear
I'm not carrying for someone who doesn't even want me.

thoughts

Today I made a few decisions. Probably not the most popular thing to decide, but when have a done that? Tomorrow starts the dream. 6 months is key. I am random and almost crazy, but nobody can say I'm not me.

Almost every night I have to stop myself from crying and I don't know how to change it.

another one

It's just me again. I suppose it should be since it's my blog, but you never know. I never understand my moods anymore. My bipolarness has really been showing lately. Perfectly happy then perfectly sad. It's quite annoying. I don't think that's proper grammar. On well, like I said it is my blog of randomness. Anyway there really isn't any new news in my life. So I guess that's it.

A short post

Why would I write a post? I don't know I'm just in the mood. My dog won't stop barking! common theme. I should probably get rid of a few but I don't seem to do what I "probably" should do. I have to work early in the morning (stupid new servers). I'm sitting here listening to The Host by Stephanie Meyer and must say this on is much better than her twilight books. This one is still a little cheesy and full of cheesy love, but it's good. I"ve been watching Dexter also. Very intriguing and a little disgusting. I have lots of hopes right now, we just need to wait until after wednesday for them all to be crushed. (that's the jaded cynic in me!)

For you

I sit here playing songs for you
Wishing you would listen
Praying you are listening
Wanting you to listen

I want to dance with somebody who loves me
I want to defy gravity with you
I want it to be possible with you
I want to be beautiful to you

No one is ever going to love you more than I do
No one’s goin’ love you more than I do
I never want to hear you say you’d be better off
Anything to make you smile I’ll do

Please forgive me
It feels like lightening running through my veins
Every time I look at you
I want you to look at me that way

Please grow old with me
So I can believe in ever ever afters
Words fall through me
I just want to be able to say
I love you, I love you

We still got time
We have a choice
Let’s make it now
I’m falling slowly for you.