sitting in a corner
contemplating death
wishing it'd come sooner
rather than later

lying on the floor
crying more and more
wishing i could be happy
knowing i'm just me

huddled in a ball
pity's a hurtful thing
wishing someone'd be there
like a mom's suppose to be

being on a couch
realizing you can't go on
trying to figure out
how to make it end.

I can't handle this anymore. I think I'm going crazy.

it's been a hard time for me lately, but decisions have been made. Unfortunately there are a few more to make, but it will work out. I regret that I kept trying so hard for so long. Oh well.

I'm ready for some change. I don't know what to change yet, but I need something to change. Hopefully soon.

push it all out
leave it all behind
wish it were different
plead for more
beg

ignored
cast out
told god wouldn't make you
lost
trod upon

you wonder why belief is hard anymore?
Someone else cross to bear
I'm not carrying for someone who doesn't even want me.

thoughts

Today I made a few decisions. Probably not the most popular thing to decide, but when have a done that? Tomorrow starts the dream. 6 months is key. I am random and almost crazy, but nobody can say I'm not me.

Almost every night I have to stop myself from crying and I don't know how to change it.

another one

It's just me again. I suppose it should be since it's my blog, but you never know. I never understand my moods anymore. My bipolarness has really been showing lately. Perfectly happy then perfectly sad. It's quite annoying. I don't think that's proper grammar. On well, like I said it is my blog of randomness. Anyway there really isn't any new news in my life. So I guess that's it.