Friday, December 24, 2010


I don't consider myself a touchy feely person. I usually like my personal space and don't like most people to get in it, but I recently have really missed being touched. The simplest touch can say 1000 words. That's one of the things I realize that has been missing in my most recently ended relationship. For the past 2 years we haven't cuddled or shares those intimate touches. That's probably one of the main reasons I've lost a lot of trust and closed up emotionally. I've been told I am emotionally closed off and I admit I struggle opening up to people, but the key to getting to my heart is those simple intimate touches. Without that it doesn't matter what you say. They and just words and a touch goes beyond that. Even now with that someone still sleeping in my bed, lying right next to me, I don't feel emotionally attached. I feel ignored and have felt that way for a very long time. Words words words all I hear is words. I long for finding that special touch again. My heart aches becausethe person lying right next to me right now has never understood that an probably never will as I can't explain it. The person I want most to share in the intimate feelings the little touch can do has no desire to reach over and touch me. Why is he still sleeping in my bed? Why am
I still here aching? I guess I still hope. Most of the time that seems to end badly for me. I guess we will see this time.

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